I'd nailed it
tales from the past
After the financial crash of 2008, when movies became harder to fund, I took a part-time gig as a sub at Sight & Sound, the niche film magazine. I’d met Nick, the editor, in the late 80s when he was a guitarist and had written songs with him - as well as getting him casual work at the magazine I worked for, City Limits. so the favour was returned, as it were.
Subbing was a lot better paid than film journalism and - once you’d got over the twentysomething thrill of seeing your own opinions in print - more satisfying too, it seemed to me. after my short film was made in 1997, I realised I had to be a lot more forgiving about films that didn’t turn out completely right. ‘criticising’ a film in print seemed a shabby way to earn a living and henceforth I only ever wrote about movies I liked.
Fast-forward to 2013 and in this spirit I wrote a piece for Sight & Sound about Breaking Bad, on the eve of its finale. I was 49 and had spent a great deal of time pondering Breaking Bad’s 50-plus episodes; I really felt I’d nailed it - while also, crucially, not giving away events to people who were yet to watch it. (The cavalier approach of ‘critics’ to giving the game away was another thing I didn’t have much time for.)
On Monday, I put the finishing touches to my piece in the office and sent it to the printers. on Tuesday, I had the day off for the cardioversion in Colchester Hospital. I never returned to the office (except two years later, for a visit).
By the time the magazine came back from the printers, I was in Colchester Stroke Unit. a physiotherapist and a hospital cleaner used to discuss each new episode of Breaking Bad, which was now available on Netflix. I still couldn’t speak and it was agony to know what they were talking about but not to be able to join in. (also, I couldn’t see the new episodes, hospitals not having Netflix.) in the end, I got my wife to bring a copy of Sight & Sound into the hospital. I proudly showed it to the physio, indicating that the writer of the piece was me.
He didn’t seem very impressed. my (maternal) grandfather didn’t really understand what a screenwriter did because he thought the actors just improvised the lines as the movie was shot, in real time. if he’d thought about it at all, that is. I think the physio had a similar idea of film journalism. he got on with manipulating my fingers.